People keep saying “The Incredibles” is the best live action adaptation of the Fantastic Four.
It’s good, but for real, that award has to go to the “Honey, I Shrunk the Kids” TV show.
Check it! Family, time travel, big gruff sweet guy. Even a council of Reeds!
When do I have to turn on Endgame so that Thor knocks Thanos’s block off right as the New Year’s ball drops?
I was recently reading the entire original run of Avengers comics when I came across this panel from an early ‘80s issue.
It wasn’t odd just because the whole issue seemed like a thinly veiled metaphor for police reform with the exact same talking points that are shouted today. It’s because it was written by a notoriously harsh conservative man named Jim Shooter who was known for injecting his rightist politics into his work despite the editorial edict he himself made against doing so. Of course, that edict was almost entirely in place because he knew the rest of the writers at Marvel were liberals and he didn’t want that in the comics of the company he ran.
But even that dude knew this stuff about the police four decades ago and campaigned for the same changes that are still being called for today.
Ugh. I know there’s been progress, and progress can be slow, but this progress seems glacial even on that scale.
Bonus Question!
Best Marvel Jim?
Steranko.
I just saw “Shang-Chi”! It was the first movie I’ve seen in theatres since I went to “Onward” on the last day cinemas were open before the pandemic. And it was the right one to go to. I was expecting some sort of crime intrigue adventure with martial arts and family drama. But yo! Vague spoilers? It was so much more! It veered hard into mystical wildness from the jump, and that was right in my jam.
Like alright. Just going to say it. Dude rode a dragon. And that wasn’t even a clear contender for the most fabulous thing.
And for real, everyone had such wonderful chemistry with each other. The whole swishy thing was joyous throughout.
It just felt right to join some friends in seeing this film put the “cinema” back in “Marvel Cinematic Universe”. Watching “Black Widow” at home was fun, but that was a different thing.
I heartily endorse all this big screen magic wuxia fantasy.
I was just thinking about the new Black Widow movie in the context of a recent comic that featured the character’s return from the dead. In comics, unless you’re forgettable enough for your death and subsequent return to pass without much notice, there’s probably going to be a story about that. In this case, cloning was the answer. If I recall right, Black Widow died and came back in a cloned but otherwise unaltered body and fought against a bunch of other Black Widow clones that were under the control of the cloners. Probably the Red Room?
And now, since everyone’s predicting ways in which this prequel movie will have ramifications for the future of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, I have this image in my head of a stinger where someone stumbles across this room with countless vats of Natasha clones to open the door for the return of Black WidScarJo. Maybe alongside the new blond one.
Bonus Question!
Best room of clone vats?
Shadows!
I’ve been reading some old Thor comics recently. From the 90s. The same era that had “Adventures in Babysitting” with that kid who was obsessed with Marvel’s Thor and the mechanic who looked like Thor and was played by the Kingpin from the Netflix Daredevil show.
And I came across this one issue that’s basically that Avengers story where Hank Pym literally goes crazy and develops an alternate personality that hits his wife in a way that was supposed to seem accidental but didn’t really play like that. Except Thor’s in place of Pym. And he has an imaginary girlfriend instead of an alternate personality. And it definitely wasn’t accidental because the wife he hit was intended to be the first death before he murdered the entire cosmos. Which actually treads close to Thanos territory too, but Death was nebulously real in a way that only seemed reminiscent of an imaginary friend.
Where am I going with this? That one slap Pym gave his wife coloured his entire character for decades to the point where wife beating became a significant aspect of his reputation. And this panel, which evokes the Pym slap even as it outweighs it in a story that’s like a mythically enlarged version of Hank’s ordeal, just makes me wonder why that stain clung to Hank so stubbornly while it seems to have slid off Thor’s back too fast for his big red cape to notice.
On an unrelated note, when I was first getting into comics, the Avengers were on my periphery, but Hank Pym and Thor were usually near the top of my list in that team because I related to Pym’s neuroses and Thor’s shininess. I’m pretty sure that those qualities don’t have significant comorbidity with spousal abuse. I’ve had a lot of bad relationships, but that particular issue never came up.
Anyway, I haven’t finished this story at the time of this writing, but I’m assuming Thor moves on from this particular manifestation of madness as Hank did, and the positive message I’ll probably seek in that is the worth of being allowed to change for the better and progress beyond one’s mistakes.
And on another unrelated note, I think Hank and Jan were better as a couple than Thor and Sif. That latter pair were better with a fraternal relationship, but Pym and Wasp were adorable at their best.
I’m somewhat infamous among people who know me for …
Well, probably a bunch of things. But if I weren’t infamous for all of those, I might be infamous for liking enough stuff to the point where there’s not really any room for stuff to hate.
Which apparently isn’t the standard way of things? I don’t know. I’m never great at the standard way of things.
But recently, I’ve noticed an increscent amount of space for vindication of my naive enjoyment of things that are not widely hailed masterpieces. As a kid with no memory of not knowing Vader’s true identity, I was ready for more Star Wars long before “The Phantom Menace” came out, and “Attack of the Clones” is still my favourite film in the entire saga. While I can generally agree with everyone that Chris Evans is wonderful in the role of Steve Rogers, I’ve also said that there are other actors who could capture that kind of energy, but Chris’s Johnny Storm was inimitable. And the rest of the cast worked for me too!
And of course these are just a small sampling of the opinions that were vociferously contradicted by the voice of the populace for years.
But in recent years, more people are constantly rising up to agree with this sort of positivity. I noticed it to a high degree with the Star Wars prequels, though I’m sure some would write that off as a response to sequel discomfort. But now people are even coming out in support of the early 2000s Fantastic Four films, which for years seemed to be the most execrable superhero movies of the modern era to the point that scores of unimaginative cynics claimed they proved that the property was unadaptable long before the 2015 outing?
Such turnarounds warm my heart. Maybe any dumb positive opinion just has to live long enough to become smart.
Bonus Question!
Best clone?
Stryfe!
Probably not actually. But it’s fun to say.
There are rumours of a new non-white MCU Punisher, and of course people are complaining about malefic social justice agendas and stuff.
But here’s the thing. If the Punisher just stays as a white dude in his next screen appearance, those same complainers are just going to whine about the inevitable swathes of articles that decry the new Punisher franchise for being a glorified ode to fragile white masculinity or whatever.
But if Frank Castle isn’t white, the volume of those articles will be severely diminished, and all of Frank’s fans will still get a satisfying Punisher movie or whatever it is without having to cavil about that polemic aftermath. Everybody wins! Or at least no one loses?
Well, maybe someone loses. There is one group to whom my mollifying arguments do not apply. Yup! White supremacists. For whatever reason, Frank, through no fault of his or Marvel, seems to have an inordinate number of avowed bigots in his fan base, and obviously, they’re always going to want a white protagonist. But those are some feelings I care even less about.
Bonus Question!
Best castle?
Howl’s. It’s in the sky, dudes!
I’ve heard a lot of theorizing about the implications of Vision’s lack of memories and Infinity Stone in “WandaVision”. The prevalent idea seems to be a version of the rebooted, colourless, emotionless Vision from the 80s or whatever.
I’m going in a different direction. This is a show that increasingly seems to focus on the children of Wanda and Vision, who grow up to be two of the Young Avengers. Billy in particular was one of four founders in the comics. But who was their first recruit?
That’s right! A younger, sleeker version of the Vision. Doesn’t that even remind you of the baby Vision we saw in a recent episode’s opening credits?
My last theory appears to be wrong. I’m due.
Bonus Question!
Vision versus Marvin the Paranoid Android! Battle of robotic ennui!
Vision’s built for combat, but on a basis of pure ennui, Marvin’s been more consistent.
So. Everyone knows Evan Peters, the Quicksilver from the Fox movies who was far less accurate to the comics than the Age of Ultron version even if I liked him more, was cast in the WandaVision series. Everyone assumes he’ll be reprising his Quicksilver role. But was he even Quicksilver to begin with?
Initially, he reminded me more of Iceman, which was great since the Iceman of the movies, while he was portrayed well, didn’t seem to be written in a way that emphasized the quirkiness of the comics version. But now, especially amidst rumours of an imminent assemblage of Young Avengers in the MCU, I’m recalling a character Evan’s Quicksilver, with his youthfulness, charm, jauntiness, and goggles, resembled even more: Tommy Shepherd, the speedster named Speed. He’s the late arrival brother of one of the Young Avengers’ founders and the reincarnated son of Wanda and the Vision.
So. Instead of doing that thing of bringing in a Fox Human Torch to play an unrelated MCU character or bringing in a Sony Spider-Man to play that same Spider-Man in a multiverse kind of cameo, maybe they’re doing a bit of a mix of both where they’re bringing in an actor who played one character who was basically another to play the MCU version of the character they basically were.
So. Evan Peters is Speed. Calling it now.
Bonus Question!
How was that Quicksilver goggle costume?
Like this.
When comics publishing slowed nigh to a halt a few months ago, I took the opportunity to read some really old comics runs. I’d never gone back to the 60s for any extended period of time before, but I decided on this occasion to start the Thor comics from the very beginning. It’s been a trip.
I recently reached the end of the 70s. At this point, Thor’s on a quest to discover answers about the vastly powerful alien Celestials and Odin’s involvement with them. To do this, he locates and questions Odin’s sacrificed eye, which has gained immense size and sentience. And how does the eye respond? By preceding the answers to Thor’s question with a recounting of Thor’s two previous mortal lives which he’d lost all memory of. And what two mortal lives were those? Siegmund and Siegfried, son of Siegmund. That’s right. The whole thing is an explicit and canonized retelling of Wagner’s Ring cycle within the Marvel universe. They even credit Wagner on the title page of each issue. And this goes on for 10 issues. And I just try to imagine reading the Thor comics as they came out in 1980 and being taken on this operatic adaptation for most of a year.
Then he finally gets a relatively concise answer about the Celestial stuff after all of that and goes to fight those things.
Anyway, it was a time.
Bonus Question!
Best Wagner?
Kurt.
I’ve heard that Richard E. Grant has been cast in the new Loki show, and people are speculating that he’ll be playing an older version of Loki, in line with the weird time happenings of the series. I remember when he was cast in an X-Men film, and I hoped he’d be playing Mister Sinister, who’d also been teased for an appearance. But despite that perfect casting, he turned out to just be playing a random scientist. And not Mister Sinister playing a random scientist, which that character has been known to do.
But I think the aptitude he’d have for portraying Loki would compensate for that missed opportunity. Especially since “Loki” feels partially like a Marvel take on “Doctor Who”, and Grant could knock out that part too. And I think he might have in some comedy sketch or something? I don’t know. But yeah.
Bonus Question!
Best Marvel take on “Doctor Who”?
Probably Dan Slott’s Silver Surfer series. If for no reason beyond the dude’s obvious passion for the franchise. Actually, I liked when he basically turned Hank Pym into the Doctor before that in his Avengers book. I’ll go with that.
I’m enjoying the new Avengers game. While I was waiting for it to download, I saw that Fortnite was having a crossover with Marvel and decided to try it for the first time. It looks great! I like that kind of art style. I played around in it for 2 or 3 minutes as Thor before I confirmed that it’s just not my kind of game.
But the actual Avengers game! Kamala’s story is done with impeccable cuteness. I’ve gotten past the part where she and the Avengers look like characters from an early Tony Hawk game because of their shaggy hair and lack of costumes. Now it’s real stuff.
And I enjoyed how MODOK didn’t really mind being turned into a giant grotesque head. His problem was with the fact that the source of that transformation was superhero blood. He just hates those superheroes, you guys!
Bonus Question!
First floating head?
Zordon.
I’ve been reading Peter David’s old Young Justice series from the 90s, and one of the things that sticks out is Impulse’s resemblance to the X-Men movie version of Quicksilver, who bears little resemblance to the comics version. Although he was also written to great effect by David in the 90s. Did someone in the production room for “Days of Future Past” just finish reading David’s X-Men stuff and say “You know who we need in this movie? That speedy dude Peter David made so awesome two decades ago!”? And the writers just assumed he was talking about Impulse instead of Quicksilver and wrote the script accordingly. Which actually worked out pretty well.
Bonus Question!
Worst Quicksilver?
If Quickstrike and Silverbolt from “Beast Wars” ever became a celebrity couple.
“Endgame” just came out. “Game of Thrones” is ramping up to its finale. Talk about spoilers and the ethics thereof has not been more prevalent in recent memory.
Now, I remember hearing about some study a few years ago where scientists claimed to prove that spoilers can enhance the consumption of a story because humans subconsciously enjoy putting together a puzzle when they know the end result. Which is fine for some people.
But in recent weeks, I’ve heard that study cited far too much by all sorts of people who hold it up to be some sort of universal truth. But humanity’s not a hive mind, and it’s insane to claim that someone who avoids spoilers actually just doesn’t know that they secretly want them.
I’m not the most fervent opponent of spoilers. Its a personal decision. Like everything, people bear some responsibility for avoiding what they don’t want in their lives, but they also have the right to be annoyed at those who ruin their fun. People generally understand themselves enough to know what they want, and no study is going to trump individual taste. It’s not like vaccination. That stuff doesn’t care if you like needles. It’ll help you anyway. Not the same deal here.
Bonus Question!
Best needle?
Gun.