The Scott Pilgrim of Superhero Movies

Just saw "Birds of Prey". Of course, it was a fun one, displaying great character work, a frenetic pace, a soundtrack with intent, and epic costumery, but the best part for me was the fact that it's another movie featuring Ewan McGregor alongside someone's diverting rendition of "Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend". If "Moulin Rouge!" taught us anything, it's the potency of that combination. And love. It also taught us love.

Bonus Question!

Best diamond?

Emma Frost.

Too Legal

So. I just heard that a new Legally Blonde movie is coming out in a few months, and since I have relatively fond memories of seeing the first one in elementary school, I thought I’d prepare by seeing the second one, which I missed for whatever reason.

But when I started watching it, it began to seem very familiar, and increscent recollections of an earlier viewing started to trickle in. I now believe that I went to see it with my cousins during a family vacation to Prince Edward Island 17 years ago.

Anyway, now I’m doubly prepared.

Bonus Question!

Favourite lawyer?

Daredevil. Maybe not best lawyer though. Dude doesn’t always prioritize that job.

Dr. Dolittle and Little Dragons

You know what? The only possible negative that came to my head when I heard Robert Downey Jr. was starrring in a Dr. Dolittle movie was the absence of the Chris Rock hamster. Obviously, Eddie Murphy's always fun to watch, but Downey feels like  a fair trade. But what would fill the void of Rodney the rodent? Besides gorgeous periodicity?

A dragon. The answer turned out to be a dragon.

Bonus Question!

While I'm talking about dragons, remade Eddie Murphy vehicles, and absent animal sidekicks, the loss of  Mushu from the new Mulan movie is probably what'll clinch my decision to skip it.

Uncut Sandler

Everyone’s astonished at the dramatic quality of Adam Sandler’s “Uncut Gems”, but his acting ability is not a new revelation. He seems to sprinkle in this kind of thing among his more characteristic works from time to time, and they’re generally well delivered. It almost seems like the reverse of that thing where actors do big blockbusters in order to finance their smaller, more independent works. It’s as though Sandler does these quiet drama pieces just frequently enough to keep himself at a level of relevance that can justify the big dumb comedies he loves making with his friends. Which I support too. I don’t actually love all of them, but it’s easy to tell that he’s having a great time with his buddies in the making of them, and I can respect that.

Best gem?

One of the Infinity ones. Probably Power.

Spongebob Songpants

The last two live musicals I saw were things I only learned of through subway posters that instantly excited me enough to make my attendance certain.

In the case of this Spongebob musical, my friend heard about it in the same  fashion and passed the knowledge on to me, which was enough to convince me on the spot to get tickets.

And it delivered.

I will say that seeing Spongebob's portrayal by an eminently jaunty  human in a neatly pressed shirt and tie tempts me to draw a line of descent from Pee-Wee Herman, though this specific gingery actor brings to mind some extra genetic material jn the mix from Archie  Andrews. Specifically the "Riverdale" version. This sponge was cut.

The  whole thing was actually exquisitely cast. Even the voices. Especially the voices. The combination of that and the overall sound design captured the aural identity of the cartoon. Beyond that, the set dressing was aquatically gorgeous, and the music had that irrepressible Bikini Botttom energy. Definitely feeling ready for that third Spongebob movie, which is apparently coming out within a year. I think.

Bonus Question!

If you were given ownership of a gay bar, what would you call it?

Carpe Dude.

Sith Stuff

I remember when The Old Republic came out over the holiday season of 2011. It focused on an era of Star Wars I loved, but I wasn’t feeling an especial call to actually play it. Its gameplay basically just seemed like a rougher version of World of Warcraft, which I was already playing. But in the week after Christmas, I was convinced to give it a try, and in that first period after its release, the wave of excitement around it just added to the wondrous experiences offered by the diverse facets of its story. That excitement fell off after a while, and I did too. I’ve occasionally poked my head in, but I didn’t really think I would again.

But it’s been on my mind recently. The time of year and the recency of “Rise of Skywalker” probably played some role. Again, I wasn’t planning to actually play it, but I decided to download it just in case. And then I hit the play button on that same day. Again, it was the week after Christmas, and I was drawn in far enough to give it a chance. I’m really not going to treat it like Warcraft or anything, but the story’s intrigued me enough to basically let it play out like a single player narrative game with the bonus of having other people around in the world. It’ll be a spurt, and then I’ll drop it again, but right now, it’s a prime source for a legendary era of Star Wars wherein all that wild Jedi and Sith nonsense I love so deeply flourished across a galaxy that often looked even more fantastical than what the epoch of the films would show.

Bonus Question!

What’s your Sith name?

Darth Yowl.

Needs More Play

So. If you were wondering about "The Playmobil Movie", I saw it. I had to rush because it somehow got cut to two showings in the one theater in most of the city after its first week. But I liked it! And this is coming from the guy who wasn't actually that excited about "The LEGO Movie". Which this wasn't actually that similar to? This was closer to classic Jumanji, which always captivates me. Yes! Hapless youths get sucked into a fictional dimension! That's my kind of party! 

Also, Adam Lambert finally gets his time to shine as a cartoon voice after a decade? And Harry Potter's James Bond. Like . . . Come on. Much to love.

Bonus Question!

Favourite story where hapless youths get sucked into a fictional dimension?

Well, it's not actually my favourite, and I don't think I've ever even experienced it firsthand, but if they remade the original Dungeons & Dragons cartoon with modern sensibilities, I'd be there on day one.

The Heavyside Lair is Basically Cathalla

It's been around a decade since I became enamoured with Cats. I watched that officially recorded video of the stage show from the 90s and bought the soundtrack, which I still listen to. When I was 20, I did my final night of trick-or-treating as Rum Tum Tugger, which was followed by a night on the town that saw me walk into a bar for the lavatory and win their costume contest withouth actually entering it.

Anyway, I was primed for the movie version, and it triumphed. It really filled out the source material in wildly fantastical ways, and it clearly showed the wonders achievable by adapting stage musicals. I've long thought that more productions could be given that treatment. "Hamilton" is an obvious choice for sheer popularity, and I'd be intrigued at the prospect of a cinematic "Wicked". 

Basically, "moar plz."

Bonus Question!

Best cinematic musical?

"Moulin Rouge!"

Rise of Spoilwalker

So. Oscar Isaac now looks like the theoretical person of whom Bruce Campbell is a caricature. 

Anyway, I saw "Rise of Skywalker". First of all, I loved all the Sith nonsense. Of all the concepts in the entirety of science fiction, the one I cherish even above Jedi stuff is Sith stuff, and this movie had more than any film in the saga. Why do I love it? Because it's like the inimitable Jedi stuff with a lean towards Romanticism instead of the often austere ideals of Enlightenment philosophy. Obviously, Sith tend to be  pretty bad dudes, but at its core, the Sith code celebrates passion and self-expression in a way reminiscent of the best art.

Related to that is the emphasis on Palpatine in a way that honestly felt like the wild explorations of the old Expanded Universe. And it's always fun to see Palpatine have a good time. 

Before going to see the Star Wars movie became a holiday tradition for my family, Middle-earth filled that role. Appropriately, "Rise" reminded me of "Return of the King", primarily in the way it crammed a whole bunch of things into an epic final chapter, including rolling hills.

I'm always here for more Star Wars, but in terms of ending a saga, this felt

worthy.

Also, "Cats". It's been around for decades. How are people so shocked at this movie?

Bonus Question!

Top Skywalker?

Anakin.

Clone Zone

My mother had never seen the last two Star Wars prequels, and before "Rise of Skywalker", she finally decided to open the box set I'd given her several Christmases ago. In watching "Attack of the Clones" with her, which is still my favourite Star Wars film of all, I did admit that some of the special effects are somewhat shaky in comparison to what's around now. That shouldn't surprise anyone, and it certainly doesn't bother me, but it might actually add an extra layer of characteristic charm to the movies. George Lucas orignally made the franchise in imitation of those quanit old adventure films that had captured his imagination in his youth, and the visual quality of those did not age impeccably. Though the degree in Star Wars is lesser, seems fitting for his movies to be similarly identifiable with a particular era in cinema through their aged appearance.

Bonus Question!

Best clone?

Ben Reilly jumps to mind.

Christmas Twist

So. I went into "Last Christmas" with no knowledge and the general desire to see a festive romantic comedy. That happened. But you know what I got for seeing a Christmas movie that was released right after Halloween? That's right! A spooky twist!

Spoilers? Sure. I'm talking to myself here.

It's one of those "They've been dead for 15 years!" things.

Except it’s really just one year. There's a reason for it.

Also, the entire soundtrack is George Michael for some reason, but I was probably the last person to learn that.

Bonus Question!

Favourite George Michael song?

Glitchy Doors

I bought these new wireless earphones a while ago, and occasionally the synchronisation between the two of them would falter. I assumed that it was just the regular kind of foible that you get with consumer electronics. Especially with that form factor. But it happened earlier in the week as I was exiting the mall, and I realised that all my memories of this circumstance seem to take place at that same mall exit. And now I'm wondering if there's some weird electric interference from a security device or something at that door.

But I still like the earphones. For one thing, they're quite shiny.

Bonus Question!

Best door?

Jim Morrison.

Black Scorpion

So. Dwayne Johnson finally gave an official announcement about his Black Adam movie. And that’s great. The last two big DC superhero movies, “Aquaman” and “Shazam”, were my favourites of the franchise, and this looks to be a bit of a mix of both. Big, classic adventure from the former and shiny magic from the latter.

But really, the mystic desert action its premise implies makes me hopeful for it to be the Scorpion King sequel we never got. Or the one we didn’t get The Rock in. That movie definitely had sequels. And all of them disappeared into the void without even scraping Dwayne.

So. This should be epic.

Bonus Question!

Best Scorpion?

Wingy Queens

So. I have watched all of "Game of Thrones", but I didn't care enough to pay real attention to the details about all the criticisms of its final season. But I did just see the new Maleficent movie.

And I've got to say, if your main complaint was in the fact that Daenerys was a queen who hung around with fantastical winged beasts instead of a queen who actually was a fantastical winged beast, I think "Maleficent: Mistress of Evil" could wash away those Westeros woes.

It also has the actor who played the less bland version of Daario, and he's probably going to have a thing with the wingy queen lady in this too.

Bonus Question!

Best fantastical winged beast?

I've always felt an affinity for the phoenix.

I mean, yeah. There's the whole thing of always getting back up. But also they're shiny, flighty things, and I feel that deep.

New Materials

Oh, man! I loved the Dark Materials books. I loved the aborted film adaptation. I knew I had to check out the new series when it got released, but I didn’t really pay attention to what was going on.

Then I came home and realised it had come out. After beginning it posthaste, I soon discovered that it made at least one subjective improvement.

I want to say this. Daniel Craig’s awesome. No question. I think one of the people who came with me to my first viewing of the film was a firm devotee. Maybe in part because people said he looked like a skinny Dan? But anyway. Craig just never hit me that deep for whatever reason, but I liked Lord Asriel. Especially since snow leopards are awesome. But you know the guy who’s endless fun for me to watch in anything? That’s right. James McAavoy. The new Asriel.

Good start, His Dark Materials television show!

Bonus Question!

What would Professor Xavier’s daemon be?

Owl. Wise and almost regal but potentially sinister.

A Tale of Trains and Time Travel

I was riding the subway a few weeks ago with a friend when this poster caught my eye. Apparently, it’s a rock musical with time travel, trains, and bears. How could I not immediately decide to see it with no other information? The last play I saw was near the beginning of the year, and that was also inspired by a random subway poster for something I wasn’t previously aware of, but this new one, “Ghost Quartet”, also intrigued my brother enough to convince him to come along. And we had a time! Light on plot perhaps? But heavy on ambience. And some banging songs too. I really liked the one where the protagonist rattled off a list of different types of dead creatures and stated the one she’d like to be was a singing ghost.

Bonus Question!

What dead creature would you be?

Vampire’s the obvious choice. My brother went with mummy, and I could make that work too.

Girlfriend in a Phone-a! I know! I know! It's Siri-ous

I just saw "Jexi". I didn't see "Her", but I assume that this was basically that but more dysfunctional. Which is why it's a comedy. And the fact that it was a comedy was all I knew beyond its main actor before I saw it. But yeah. Like “Her”, it’s a movie about a dude who gets far too intimate with a sentient digital assistant.
So. It was fun.
Will I see "Her"?
I doubt it. But I'm sure it's good too. But "Jexi" was what I saw.

Bonus Question!
Best sentient digital assistant?

J.A.R.V.I.S. In large part because Paul Bettany in Marvel is like chocolate in peanut butter soup.

Fun Run

Saw “Brittany Runs a Marathon”. I knew I recognised the lead actor, though I couldn’t place her intuitively. Then I discovered I didn’t even know her name. I’d just seen her in stuff.

But it was solid. She’s playing someone who’s reaching the end of her 20s with the realisation that her habits have begun to endanger her health. Her response is to throw herself into running in order to get better.

Honestly, I was reminded slightly of what I went through a little while ago, though for me it was the reverse. I’d been running habitually for a while, and that turned out to exacerbate the frailty I’d had for my whole life. But still, I related to that feeling of teetering on the precipice of infirmity and committing to the quest to improve.

Outside of that, it was still good.

Bonus Question!

Longest run?

There were two occasions on which I inadvertently ran half marathons because I didn’t want to stop.

Marvel Monster Mash

Monster month is fully swinging, and I've been thinking about the classic movie monsters. I noticed that they seem to map fairly well onto the members of the Defenders, Marvel's classic misfit team from the 70s, which happened to be a boom for the supernatural on the big screen while such things were largely forbidden in Marvel's pages by the officious rulings of the Comics Code.

Anyway.

Obviously, Frankenstein's monster was an admitted influence on the Hulk. Big brute who rampages around but really just wants to be left to himself.

The gill man? Namor, the king of the oceans.

Silver Surfer, like the mummy Imhotep, is an aloof displaced member of an ancient civilization imbued with mysterious power who wanders around and pines for his lost love.

And finally the big D's. Doctor Strange and Dracula. They love capes. They're relentlessly theatrical. And while they still measure up to their cohorts in terms of weirdness, they are occasionally able to muster up attempts to interact with society at large without making a complete mess.

Also, Strange was explicitly modelled on Vincent Price, who was involved in that whole monster mix too.

And Hulk's rival Talbot shares a surname with the wolf man. I don't know if that's significant.

Bonus Monster!

Some people like to include the Phantom of the Opera in this bunch, and the idea of a disgraced burn victim in a threatening mask who's obsessed with causing havoc for some dude he's pinned his misfortune on fits pretty well with Doctor Doom.

Yesterday Came Out Several Yesterdays Ago, But I Finally Saw It

Everyone knows I'm a big fan of Richard Curtis. Or they don't. But I am. "Love Actually" has a particular place in my heart after its introduction to me during a hospital stay at the end of one summer break led to endless viewings.

At the end of this summer, there was nothing in theatres I really wanted to see, which pushed me to finally give "Yesterday" a shot after I'd let it pass by for months. And then I realised it was written by Richard Curtis.

So. I thank you, September movie drought, for pushing me back into the warm embrace of Richard Curtis.

Bonus Question!

Favourite Beatle?

Paul. Dude just likes to be on. I feel that.